Drowning in a Love Affair
by Cynosure
Summary: First chapter, maybe I wrote a second but it's rather silly All he wanted to do was read his books, but the everyone else had different ideas about not letting him hide


Drowning in a Love Affair

Welcome to my YNM fic. This started out as a little one-shot about Hisokas love of books, but it took off with a life of it's own. I have no idea how long it is going to be ;; Hope it's not too confusing. Please R&R and please if you have any questions or suggestions, I'd be happy to hear them

Represent emotions from outside

Physical action

/ Flash back

_Thoughts_

Bibliophilism 

All I wanted to do was read my book.

Why couldn't they just leave me alone? Why couldn't they understand that this was what I wanted, that in these pages were freedom. That when I'm reading the rest of the world fell away, memories faded, the constant gnawing at his shields eased with the deep concentration of getting lost in another world.

Sigh

_I need this, it's my refuge, and my resting place away from the constant deluge of emotions swirling around me like leaves in autumn carried on chill winds _bored, carefree, enthusiastic, concerned, loyal, puzzled, preoccupied, bored, playful

Mentally shacking himself, thrusting aside the constant distraction that was his partner

I can feel the pull of the sirens call, the pull of the call, the world faded to a dim shadow on the far reaches of my senses

1Driving swiftly on our way, the Sirens failed not to note the swift ship as it drew near, and they raised their clear-toned song:

"'Come hither, as thou farest, renowned Odysseus, great glory of the Achaeans; stay thy ship that thou mayest listen to the voice of us two. For never yet has any man rowed past this isle in his black ship until he has heard the sweet voice from our lips. Nay, he has joy of it, and goes his way a wiser man. For we know all the toils that in wide Troy the Argives and Trojans endured through the will of the gods, and we know all things that come to pass upon the fruitful earth.'

"So they spoke, sending forth their beautiful voice, and my heart was fain to listen, and I bade my comrades loose me, nodding to them with my brows; but they fell to their oars and rowed on. And presently Perimedes and Eurylochus arose and bound me with yet more bonds

A tickle, a backwards pull, fight it

For never yet has any man rowed past this isle in his black ship until he has heard the sweet voice from our lips. Nay, he has joy of it, and goes his way a wiser man. For we know all the toils that in wide Troy the

Hisoka? A whisper on my mind getting louder in a steady pitch

"Hisokaaa"

The world was dimming, The real world rushing back, emotions overflowing the dam, muddling senses, throwing all thought into a maelstrom of confusion, forgetting for a moment which world was which. Which was reality and which was written word.

Then the emotions came to a crescendo. Hitting my shields with enough force to begin seeping through want, boredom, need, affection, concern, worthless, accepting, inquisitive Swirling through my mind

I push it aside and fall back into the sirens call

Come hither, as thou farest, renowned Odysseus, great glory of the Achaeans; stay thy ship that thou mayest listen to the voice of us two. For never yet has any man rowed past this isle in his black ship until he has heard the sweet voice from our lips

I already read this

"HISOKAAAAAAAAAAA"

Snapped back to reality

I put my book down, resisting the urge to throw it at him, I give him my patent death stare that causes even Tatsumi to quail

"What?" I grind out

Cautious, concerned, apprehensive, nervous, anxious, worried, inquisitive, intent, earnest, accepting, affectionate, stubborn, strong urge to glomp

"W—What are you reading?"

I don't answer as I reach for a different book, opening it the page marker and fall into a new world

2"Here is your chamber for to-night," said he. "It is late, and the governor is asleep. To-morrow, perhaps, he may change you. In the meantime there is bread, water, and fresh straw; and that is all a prisoner can wish for. Goodnight." And before Dantes could open his mouth - before he had noticed where the jailer placed his bread or the water - before he had glanced towards the corner where the straw was, the jailer disappeared, taking with him the lamp and closing the door, leaving stamped upon the prisoner's mind the dim reflection of the dripping walls of his dungeon.

Dantes was alone in darkness and in silence - /dim lights reflecting off the walls, seeming to crawl after him/ cold as the shadows that he felt breathe on his burning forehead. With the first dawn of day the jailer returned, with orders to leave Dantes where he was. He found the prisoner in the same position, as if fixed there, his eyes swollen with weeping. He had passed the night standing, and without sleep. A presence the jailer advanced; coming towards Dantes Encroaching on my personal space appeared not to perceive him. A myriad of emotions battering my shields concern, affection, need worry He touched him on the shoulder. I flinch away go ridged Edmond started. Shock, concern, worry, fear

"Hisoka are you ok, you're pale" contact the wash of emotion like the flash of a camera "and you're shaking"

Forcing my voice steady I'm fine

The hand lingers on my shoulder, the warmth seeping into my cold neglected soul sharp want, need, longing, deep concern the hand gave a gentle squeeze then was removed, leaving me lost in confusion, his voice filtered through

"You're sure?"

"Yes I force out"

"You want some tea?" Concern and worry still lacing his voice

"No I'm fine"

He didn't believe me and kept watching as I reached for a book. I took it in my nervous fingers, flipped it open to the marker and dove in.

3"Oh, Sal. I did leave the next morning, but I thought about you every day. I never have and never will feel about another woman the way I feel about you." He stroked her back as he entranced her again with his voice. "Let me make love to you. Tell me you want me."

Sally knew this was the man of her heart. There would never be another man for her. She had known this since they were children. His leaving had hurt her to the core, but in the end it would always be him.

"John Patrick Fletcher, I do want you to make love to me.

This wasn't right

I could feel the blush creeping over my skin making me acutely aware that he was still watching me

"Hisoka are you alright? Soka-chan"

Anger was the best defense, I snap out, "Don't call me that"

"But Soka"

Death glare of ultimate doom

Undeterred "you sure you're ok, you're acting strange today"

Gesturing with the book "where did this come from? it most certainly is not mine"

"I don't know Soka-chan I've never seen it be-"

"BAKA" I cut him off and lob the book at him before storming out

The library

Two identical heads pop up at the sound of the door banging open, catching a glimpse of denim and orange with a splash of vivid green. A greeting died on their beaks unspoken as Hisoka rushed past, indefinable emotions played out across his face. The GuShoShin brothers exchanged knowing glances and turned back to their work

Jealous, fascinated, close, warm, disappointed, complacent, satisfied, annoyed

Emotions swirling through his head,_ I can't stop them. They're getting stronger _

Courageous, strong, preoccupied, bored, embarrassed, cheerful, excited

_What happen to my shields? _For a moment the world blurred, mixing reality with fiction. Confusion reigned. _Which was real?_ It was so hard to tell anymore

Collapsing against a shelf letting the calm dignity of age, flowing from the ancient tomes, wash over him. Running loving fingers over the tattered bindings, each pit, and each pockmark telling a story, each a tiny part of the books long life. The smell of old leather and dust, the dim lights, the quiet austere environment worked it's magic, easing the tension, swallowing the noise of the outside world, dampening the emotions that threatened to break down his shields.

Relaxing slightly, he realized how tense he had been, by the tell tale ache in his shoulders.

Sigh

Wandering down the rows while letting his fingers play lightly across the binding, enjoying the brief respite from the constant waves of others emotion. Finally choosing a worn leather book and retreating to his favorite chair, _amazing that this one chair has survived the multiple destructions, Tsuzuki _confusion and something else "No" sigh _why can't I tell what I'm feeling? It's so easy to read them from others to know what they feel, but my own are alien and that one _

Concentrating, trying to pull it up, to puzzle it out _It's so new _focusing on it trying to weed it out from the jumble of other emotions, trying to clarify it warm, comfort, I was being held gently in some-ones arms, flickering in through my fledgling ability was that emotion _huh? That didn't help. Now I'm more confused then ever _sigh

Finally arriving in the secluded nook hidden deep within the maze of shelves and tables heavy laden with books. He settles into the giant, overstuffed, brown leather chair, that had long been permeated with the scent of aged and dusty books. Tension drains from his weary limbs as he opens the book. Staring at the pages registering nothing, the lines of neatly printed text blur and run together. Exhaustion washes over him making his thoughts disjointed, scattering like sakura petal on a breeze.

_Hmm when did my eyes close? _

Dragging them open to realize the book he'd been holding had fallen to the floor _when did that happen? _Sinking ever deeper into slumber, mind wandering, jumping from thought to thought

_I need to go shopping_

_Wonder how Watari is after that explosion_

_Did Tsuzuki finish his paper work, yeah right, he probably ran off for something full of sugar as soon as I left_

_He's so annoying; your smile doesn't reach your eyes, why doesn't anyone see that?_

_Tsuzuki _

All thought scattered like embers from a flame as a deep dreamless slumber claimed him.

Fear, anger, insecure, skeptical, worried, irritated, cross emotions pulled him to near consciousness optimistic, satisfied, unsure, mellow adequate, able, anxious the mummer of distant voices lulled him back into a deep sleep.

Notes: 1 is from the Odyssey. 2 is from The Count of Monte Cristo. 3 is from a romance I found online,(sorry don't know the title)


End file.
